CHILL LAB 超正常研究室 – 關注青少年的精神健康,讓參加者覺察及表達當下的情緒並調適自己

Learning and playing are often two opposite things

Learning and playing are often two opposite things. We frequently hear elders say: read carefully when studying, and play thoroughly when playing. But can you only choose one of the two, or can you do both simultaneously?

 

In daily life, study and work responsibilities are often overwhelming. We hope to continuously improve ourselves and cope with various examinations and work challenges. However, if we only focus on studying hard and ignore the entertainment and relaxation in life, wouldn’t it be difficult to maintain a good physical and mental state and face various tasks?

 

To maintain a good physical and mental condition, it is equally important to balance study and entertainment. While setting learning goals, you can reasonably plan your learning time for yourself. Endless homework and review will make us suffocated, but as long as we learn to make reasonable arrangements and perform study, work, and entertainment in their respective duties in an orderly manner, we can also achieve a balance. For example, you can divide the day into several periods, using the morning for study and work and leaving time for recreational activities in the afternoon. Or arrange some short rest time after work to regulate your body and mind through yoga, meditation, and other methods. As long as time is used effectively, learning and entertainment can coexist harmoniously.

 

In addition, the fun in learning can also make our learning process novel and interesting. I once heard an interesting saying that learning an instrument is described as playing music in English grammar. The hidden meaning expresses that learning music is an enjoyable process. Understanding the melody and knowledge in the music score also incorporates interesting elements into the learning process to stimulate enthusiasm and motivation for learning. Finally, playing music is not only a fun experience but also provides unexpected gains and improvements in the process.

 

After busy study and work, making time to enjoy life will help us get twice the result with half the effort. Only by finding a balance between study and play can we maintain physical and mental health and better devote ourselves to study and work.

 

You’ve been busy all day today, it’s time for play!

Don’t let summer holidays become the burden between you and your child!

There is no doubt that the summer holiday is the most exciting time for students every year because it’s time to temporarily get rid of the tedious curriculum and fully enjoy the freedom during the holidays! However, when summer holiday homework appears, this excitement is immediately suppressed. Facing piles of summer homework, parents nag non-stop and constantly urge children to complete their homework. Children may thus frequently complain, and the relationships between parents and children become tense. Here are some tips to make summer holiday homework no longer a burden between parents and children:

 

Review the meaning of summer holiday homework.

The purpose of summer homework is to ensure students do not encounter a substantial hiatus in their learning journey and to review and consolidate knowledge from the previous academic year. It’s worth for parents to think about: “Is the homework content really useful?” And “Besides academic performance, are there other talents and interests suitable for children to develop during the summer holiday?” Parents should maintain a relaxed attitude to guide children to complete summer homework, such as letting children choose topics they are interested in writing about, instead of forcing them to finish all homework at the beginning of summer break.

 

Plan the summer holiday with your children.

Summer holiday homework is important, but children also need sufficient rest time, parent-child interaction, and free time for entertainment. Parents can plan the summer schedule with their children, set a fixed time for homework every day, and let children arrange the rest of the time themselves. Such as playing games, watching movies, exercising, and taking rest. Parents can also have fun and rest with children from time to time, such as watching the exciting and thrilling Olympic Games together, cheer for athletes from different countries, and get to know various types of sports with children at the same time. If the child finds interest in a certain sport, parents can encourage the child to join fresher classes related to the sport during summer break to explore new interests.

 

Be patient and encouraging towards children’s learning situations.

Every child is unique with different learning progress and abilities. Parents should not make comparison between different children. As long as children make efforts to learn, they should be given appropriate praise and encouragement. Even if they occasionally encounter learning difficulties, parents need to assist in an understanding and patient manner, instead of scolding children harshly.

 

How to achieve a balance between learning and enjoying the leisure of summer vacation worth consideration for every family. Let’s make good use of this long summer break, and not let summer homework become a burden between parents and children. Let’s enjoy quality parent-child time together!

Summer holiday guide for working parents

It is summer holiday again! I believe that all students are excited about that and hope that they can temporarily forget the pressure of study during the holiday, it is time to take a break and do what they like. However, most parents still have to work and are unable to spend much time with their children. So, how should parents manage their time with children during the summer holiday to enhance their relationship?

Summer holiday is an opportunity for parents and children to get along and get to know more about each other. It is also a great chance for parents to observe their children’s growth by communicating and taking more care of them.

During the summer holiday, students stay at home more than before, but working parents may not be able to accompany their children all the time. So parents can try to arrange the schedule together with their children, encourage them to express their opinions and communicate more with others, these can help their children to build up their self discipline. At the same time, parents and children can also take this opportunity to participate in some activities together, such as travelling, so that parents can stay with their children more, and both of them can also be relaxed from their busy work life.

Some parents consider about if they should sign up some summer classes for their children. Properly joining some classes that the children are interested in will certainly help with their children’s growth and development, but parents must pay attention not to enroll too many classes for their children. Summer holiday is a break for the children to relax, study-life balance is very important. Reducing their stress can better explore their potential.

Some parents may worry that their children will only focus on having fun during the summer holiday. In fact, this is not a big problem as long as they have a well organised timetable, they can spend their summer holiday meaningfully by following the schedule. For example, let children relax at the beginning of summer holiday, and then participate in various activities that are suitable for them, adjust their work and rest time and study plan near the beginning of school. This will give children a chance to relax during summer holiday without delaying their study.

When there is a healthy schedule for the summer holiday, parents will not be stressed out about how to manage the time with their children. While the parents are trying to plan the timetable for the children, they should also consider and care more about their own emotion, so that they and their children can also enjoy the summer holiday!

One-time academic result is not a life indicator

It is the season of releasing DSE results again. I believe that some students are happy and excited about their satisfied result, while some others are disappointed as their grades are lower than they expected.

Having a good result is one step closer to get into their preferred university, which is certainly should be happy and proud of, but students with unsatisfied result should not be overwhelmed. There is not only one way out in our life, and academic results do not mean everything of our future achievement.

Exams scores often depend on many factors. Besides the level of difficulty, there are also stresses, environments, health condition…etc. All these factors are significant to an exam performance. Therefore, we should not judge one’s success or failure just based on the test result, or to make comparisons with others.

Even though some students are not able to get into their preferred university, there are still many pathways for further study, such as self-financing courses, sub-degree programme and higher diploma courses. Furthermore, students can also enroll into some courses that are related to the career they are interested in, so they can learn some relevant knowledge and skills, which would be useful for their future prospects.

Everybody is unique. We have our own strengths and talents, as well as our own goals, interests and dreams. The definition of success is different for everyone. Everyone has their own pace, we don’t have to deliberately catch up or cater to others, it is more important to find out the field that suits you. There is no best development direction, but only the path that suits you best.

During our campus life, we also learn how to establish the sense of responsibility, develop a good character, and learn how to get along with others. These precious values cannot just be reflected by a single test score.

Examination or academic performances will soon become a small part of our life. It cannot be used to indicate our achievement, nor to represent the value of our existence. Students should figure out your own interests and goals, then work hard to add value to yourself, believe in your own potential, respond to challenges with a positive attitude, and trust that you can succeed on your own path.

Reference:

https://www.stheadline.com/parenting/3254521/%E5%85%92%E7%AB%A5%E5%BF%83%E7%90%86DSE%E6%94%BE%E6%A6%9C%E5%89%8D%E5%BE%8C%E5%AE%B6%E9%95%B76%E5%A4%A7%E6%BA%96%E5%82%99-%E5%BF%83%E7%90%86%E5%B0%88%E5%AE%B6%E6%95%99%E8%B7%AF%E4%B8%80%E6%AC%A1%E6%88%90%E7%B8%BE%E9%9D%9E%E4%BA%BA%E7%94%9F%E6%8C%87%E6%A8%99

學業成績只是裝備往後人生的其中一件事

https://www.tkww.hk/a/202307/19/AP64b7714ee4b068c215c7b5a7.html

https://www.student.hk/commonDetial?breadCrumbName=%E7%86%B1%E8%A9%B1&rid=WS61d7b2159ab4b791751d74df

How do candidate face the DSE result?

The day of the announcement of the DSE result is coming. Meanwhile, it is telling the students that secondary school life has come to an end. With the new chapter in life, the process is full of unknowns. Let’s look at how to adjust our mindset with some tips below.

1.Understand more about your result
On the day when the results are released, thousands of thoughts may run through your mind when you are holding the results. “Need to study ASSO right away?” “Do I gain enough marks on applying for the ideal subjects?” Before releasing the results, you can preview the choices you will make with different scores and simulate the situation after you get the results that day. For example, use a chart to write down your ideal and least ideal scores, and compare them with your expected goals. Make backup plans. If you plan to continue your studies, you should think of several subjects that are interesting and suitable for you, so as not to be affected by the results on the day when the results are released, which will affect your mentality and then affect your ability to make decisions. At the same time, remember to prepare the documents required for the results day one or two days in advance so that you can face it calmly.

2.Objectively analyze your performance
We may only experience this critical moment of results release once in our lifetime. Students are wise to review the entire preparation process, affirm their dedication and efforts, and also recognize areas that need improvement. The score only reflects the ability to attend the examination, but your own efforts and mental adjustment during the process are the experiences that accompany your growth. Students can focus on whether profound things linger in their minds during the past few years of preparing for DSE. Those memories are also an important part of middle school life.

3.Find support and advice
Remember that you are not alone. If you have any doubts, you may wish to take the initiative to talk to your family, teachers, and friends and listen to their support. There will always be times when a person is in trouble. You might as well share your problems or troubles with others. Different ideas may emerge. This is also very important to adjust our mentality and formulate long-term plans.

4.Appreciate yourself
Finally, it is time to appreciate your efforts over the past few years in secondary school! Achievements are only one-sided performances. On the contrary, the entire middle school career experience is not only about studying but also the personal growth experiences. An ending represents another beginning. On the eve of the release of the results, let’s invite friends to play around, relax and relieve stress, and say farewell to secondary school life and welcome to a new beginning.

How’s parents accompany their children to wait for the DSE results?

As the day for announcing the results draws closer, how can parents of the DSE candidates accompany their children to face the results? In addition to collecting information about further studies through different channels, it is more important to accompany their children and to face the moment together. Here are several tips for parents to consider:

1. Maintain a positive attitude: After studying hard and facing public exams, candidates will inevitably feel nervous and uneasy when the results are announced. Regardless of the outcome, parents should stay patient, remain optimistic and accompany their children.
2. Provide emotional support: Parents should be their children’s emotional support and let their children know that no matter what their grades are, parents will still support and love them unconditionally.
3. Respect children’s choices and feelings: Parents should respect their children’s feelings and decisions, and should try to avoid excessive discussions about children’s achievements and avoid putting pressure on them.
4. Provide guidance and suggestions: Parents can give their children some guidance and suggestions at an appropriate time so that they can make plans by themselves.
5. Avoid excessive interference: Parents should try to avoid excessive interference in their children’s thoughts and decisions. Parents can give their children space and provide them with timely support and resources.

Parents can show more empathy by trying to think from their children’s perspective, and try to consider their feelings and reactions. The most important thing is to let children understand that no matter what their grades are, parents will always be there to accompany them and support them. The release of results is just one of the stages in life. Avoid putting all your own expectations on your children, providing appropriate care and support is the most important.

Anxiety before DSE results release

As the DSE results release date is approaching, have you ever felt nervous, worried, panicked, or frightened? Students are concerned about their test results and may feel anxious when thinking about their prospects, as the choices and changes they are going to encounter may significantly impact their future. If students can adequately understand and deal with their anxiety, it will help them maintain good well-being to face the coming new stages and challenges.

These feelings of anxiety may stem from students’ negative thoughts about open examinations and results. For example, students may catastrophize their exam results, worrying that they will not be able to get into the university if they fail to achieve the expected results, and their future will be ruined. Or they may keep thinking about the situation on the day of the HKDSE, feeling that they did not do well in the exam, blaming themselves for not performing well, and worrying that they will lose their qualifications to enter their favorite subjects. Some students may be unclear about their interests and skills, feel struggle to plan for their future paths, and are worried about unable to find a course and career that suits them. Our body will also appear differently under various anxious emotions. Symptoms include heart palpitations, difficult in breathing, tension headaches, frequent urination, stomach pain, abdominal pain, and insomnia. Long-term anxiety may worsen into anxiety disorders and depression.

It is not easy to coexist with anxiety. Students may feel highly anxious before results are released. So, what can we do to relieve these emotions? Students can refer to the following tips to deal with various worries and anxiety before the results are released:

1. Write down a plan in advance
Before the results are released, students should plan for further study pathways as early as possible and collect relevant information. Students can simulate various results and release situations in advance, such as scores higher or lower than expected, and then record corresponding options for further education and employment. When you have clear information and plans in hand, you can be mentally prepared to deal with it even if your results are not as expected, thus you can better manage the feeling of anxiety.

2. Take care of yourself
When you feel anxious, remind yourself that you have already planned everything. No matter how worry you are, it will not help. Therefore, students should arrange their schedule for adequate sleep and a proper diet instead of worrying. You can also focus on activities that you enjoy and temporarily stay away from anxiety to make yourself feel more comfortable.

3. Talk to someone you trust
Sometimes, when people express their worries to others, their anxiety can be relieved. Students can talk to trusted family members, friends or professionals about their stress and worries before the results are released, and also listen to the experience and opinions from other people.

DSE is one of the milestones in our lives, but it is not everything. Feeling anxious before the release of the results is a normal reaction. Having anxious feeling does not mean suffering from anxiety disorder. However, if the feeling of anxious has been present for a long time, is growing stronger, and seriously affects your daily life, remember to seek help from professionals around you.

Whats is Emotional blackmail?

Emotional blackmail is a concept introduced by psychologist Susan Forward. It refers to using fear, obligation, and guilt to control others in intimate relationships such as in the workplace, parent-child relationships, marriage, romantic relationships, and friendships. Emotional blackmailer manipulates the victim into experiencing negative emotions such as frustration, guilt, and fear. The victim would feel trapped, low in self-worth, and thus unable to see the reality of the situation, leading to self-doubt and ultimately complying with the blackmailer’s demands.

There are six key characteristics of emotional blackmail:
1. Demand: The emotional blackmailer presents a clear request or demand to the victim.

2. Resistance: The victim feels uncomfortable or unable to accept the demand and attempts to refuse or resist it.

3. Pressure: In response to the victim’s resistance, the blackmailer further emphasizes their demand and adds pressure.

4. Threats: If the pressure does not lead to acceptance, the blackmailer uses the victim’s emotions to directly or indirectly threaten them into complying with their demand.

5. Compliance: To avoid the negative consequences the blackmailer threatens, the victim often gradually gives in and complies with their demands.

6. Repetition: Once the victim complies, this behavior can become a recurring pattern, creating a vicious cycle of emotional blackmail.

Tips for avoiding emotional blackmail:
When you suspect that you may be experiencing emotional blackmail, you can use the following SOS strategy to respond:

1. Stop: When engaging in emotional blackmail, it is important not to immediately respond to the blackmailer’s demands. Take a moment to pause and delay, giving yourself time and space to think. If necessary, you can leave the venue to avoid being influenced by the blackmailer’s emotional fluctuations.

2. Observe: Once you can stop and stay away from the pressure, try to observe the situation from an outsider’s perspective. Through reflection, observe the blackmailer’s intentions, demands, and methods, and be aware of your thoughts and feelings. For example, pay attention to the words or actions used by the blackmailer that make you feel afraid, guilty, or compelled to comply.

3. Strategize: After reflecting, you can develop strategies to respond to the blackmailer, and practice until you can clearly and firmly express your decisions to the blackmailer. Strategies such as non-defensive communication can present boundaries and avoid triggering the blackmailer’s emotions. For example, you could say, “I understand you’re angry, but when you treat me like this, I feel really hurt…”

Article: Should schools discuss the topic of suicide with students?

In recent years, the issue of suicide among teenagers has been drawing public attention. People are concerning whether or not school should prevent students from having suicidal thoughts by education. There are opinions that bring up the topic of suicide will cause negative impact on students. Thus, some people think that reporting suicide cases should be eliminated to prevent teenagers from imitating.

So, should schools discuss the topic of suicide with their students? In fact, it is unnecessary to focus too much on the topic of suicide. Instead, putting more focus on the mental health condition of students is more crucial.

There are many different reasons behind each suicide case, but we should let students know that no matter what the reasons are, suicide is never an option to solve their problems. Also, teachers should pay attention to their conversations with students, do not romanticise any suicidal behaviour.

Paying attention to the mental health condition of students is essential. Teachers should be aware of their students’ emotional needs and provide timely assistance. Such as providing some stress relief methods and information about the emotional support hotlines. Facing emotional needs at an early stage can reduce the accumulation of negative emotions and hence avoid some extreme thoughts.

Teachers should be alert if they find students with the following conditions:

– Intention of self-injury;
– Unexplained cuts on their body;
– Depressions;
– Loss of appetite;
– Insomnia;
– Other anxiety symptoms.

Academic performance is important. At the same time, teachers should also pay attention to the mental health condition of students, encourage students to seek help if they are suffering from emotional problems. Detecting and facing mental problems earlier, more tragedies can be avoided.

The greater pressure from the the greater expectations?

In Chinese society, parents always expect their children to become the “dragons and phoenixes” among all people of the same age . This represents the traditional family concept – parents wish for the success of their child. However, what is the definition of success? Being a student nowadays is often more stressful than in the past. After attending classes for a whole day, need to immediately go to the tutoring center for extra learning; After returning home, nervous parents immediately ask about their performance in extracurricular activities; In senior form, when the child still do not have any idea about the elective subjects they would like to take, parents may clamor to ask their kid to choose a subject that could link to a stable and successful career path.
Yet, will the expectations given by parents be different from their child’s actual preference, causing the expectations to become a kind of pressure or even a burden to the child? Facing all kinds of expectations from the surroundings, even superheroes need to take a breather! So how should we face parents’ high expectations and reduce our pressure? Here are some tips!

1. Learn to communicate with parents
The expectations of parents often come from their care and concern for their child. They hope for a better future for their child, thus might set certain standards subconsciously. With different social positions and point of views, parents may not fully understand what their child is thinking. Therefore, we can take the initiative to share our feelings with our parents, express our feelings of stress and anxiety. If you are worried about not being able to express your feelings accurately, you might as well express yourself in words or pictures. Through communicating with each other calmly, let your parents better understand your current situation and feelings, adjust their expectations appropriately.

2. Know yourself and plan your direction
Over-concerning parents’ thoughts and expectations may cause us to rely on their decisions to make our choices, and ignore our own abilities or interests. As a result, choosing an inappropriate path due to the expectations of others. As a student, you can try to objectively evaluate your capabilities, find your own strengths, then think about future direction. At the same time, it would be better to make the plan as detailed as you can. Make it concrete so that you can have clearer goals and work effectively. It allows your parents to see how your decisions are under careful consideration, and understand that you also have your own thoughts, so as to better relate to you.

3. Seek advice from others
Teachers, social workers, or classmates could be a great support when you share your concern with them. Try to listen to their pertinent opinions and suggestions, make a better balance between parents’ expectations and self-expectations. Remember you are not alone, let people around to share the burden together with you.

The differences between the expectations of parents and children are not terrible. The key lies in whether everyone can communicate and coordinate appropriately. Facing the expectations of others, it is important to adjust your mentality appropriately, find a suitable way to relax and express your emotions.