CHILL LAB 超正常研究室 – 關注青少年的精神健康，讓參加者覺察及表達當下的情緒並調適自己

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Love yourself on Valentine’s Day

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Valentine’s Day is a romantic day that is often used to celebrate love and intimacy. But in addition to sharing sweet moments with your partner, the day can also be an opportunity to love and grow in yourself. Here are a few ways to love yourself on Valentine’s Day:

 

  1. Alone time

Arrange a day to yourself and do something you like, such as reading, watching a movie, or going to a small spa. During this time, let go of the stress of work and enjoy your own company.

 

  1. Gourmet feast

When preparing a sumptuous meal, whether you cook it yourself or enjoy it out, the focus is on enjoying the meal. Choose your favorite dish and pair it with a glass of wine to satisfy your taste buds.

 

  1. Self-reflection

Use this day to think about your life and goals, and write down your mood, thoughts, or future plans. Not only will this help you clarify your thoughts, but it will also help you understand yourself better.

 

  1. Make small wishes come true

Fulfill a small wish on this day, such as buying a long-awaited item or attending an interesting workshop. Allow yourself to feel accomplished and happy.

 

  1. Exercise your body and mind

Join a yoga or fitness class to relax your body and mind. Exercise releases endorphins, which help lift your mood and make you feel more fulfilled.

 

  1. Write a letter to yourself

Write a letter to your future self and share your current feelings, dreams, and goals. This is not only a way of self-affirmation, but also a way to look back on your own growth one day in the future.

 

  1. A grateful heart

Make a list of things or people you are grateful for, no matter how big or small. This kind of practice can make you appreciate the good things in life more and improve your happiness.

 

Valentine’s Day is not only a day to celebrate love, but also a time to love and value yourself. No matter which way you choose, the point is to feel happy and content with yourself so you can love others better. Let us give ourselves a pampering on this special day!

How to overcome Post-Holiday Blues?

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Have you ever felt inexplicably depressed after a long holiday?

 

This is a very common situation. Holidays can help us to relax and relieve stress from work, which makes us feel relaxed and happy. But after the holidays, we have to return to work and our busy daily life. It may be difficult for us to get adapted again and we may tend to be anxious.

 

To overcome this situation, we can try to do more exercise, which is good for our health, and also help our body to release endorphins to improve our mood.

 

Apart from long holidays, we can also try to take time to do more things that we are interested in during weekdays, so that we can look forward to the time after work, this can avoid us being stressful all the time.

 

The good memories of the long holiday can certainly accumulate positive energy for us, and on weekdays, we can also try to find things worth to be looking forward to so that we can always stay positive.

Six Steps to Resolve Conflicts

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On the third day of the Lunar New Year (Chi San), it’s a good time to reflect and resolve interpersonal conflicts. Here are six detailed steps, along with everyday examples, to help you effectively handle disputes:

1. Calm Down

When a conflict arises, emotions can often cloud judgment. It’s important to temporarily calm down and avoid emotional reactions. When you feel angry or frustrated, take a few deep breaths, count to ten, or briefly leave the scene to engage in relaxing activities like walking or listening to music to help yourself regain composure.

Example: If you have a disagreement with a colleague over work tasks and feel emotionally charged, you can tell them, “I need some time to calm down; let’s discuss this later.” This way, you can avoid emotional reactions that could lead to more unnecessary conflicts.

2. Clarify the Issues

Identifying the core issue of the dispute is crucial. You can ask yourself several questions:

  • What is the specific reason for this conflict?
  • What are my needs and feelings?
  • What are the other person’s position and needs?

Specific Approach: Write down the main points in your mind or on paper. This will help keep the focus during subsequent discussions.

3. Open Dialogue

Choose an appropriate time and environment for the conversation, ensuring both parties have enough time and space to communicate. Avoid discussing sensitive topics when emotions are high or in public settings. Use phrases like “I feel” to express your feelings and listen to the other person’s thoughts.

Example: If you and a friend disagree on travel plans, you could meet at a quiet café and say, “I feel we have some differences in our travel plans, but I want to hear your thoughts.” This can promote understanding and prevent emotions from escalating.

4. Find Common Ground

During the discussion, emphasize shared goals and look for solutions that both parties can accept.

Example: When you and a colleague have different opinions on how to approach a task, you can identify a common goal, such as improving team efficiency, and then collaboratively explore how to achieve that goal. This can reduce opposing emotions and foster cooperation.

5. Develop a Solution

Based on the consensus reached, clarify each person’s roles and actions, and set a practical timeline to ensure both parties feel accountable.

Example: In a close relationship, if there’s a dispute over financial management, you can decide to create a joint budget plan and agree to review expenses and income monthly. This ensures that both parties can accept the solution.

6. Follow Up and Reflect

After resolving the issue, regularly check in on progress and have follow-up discussions with the other person to confirm each other’s feelings and thoughts. Learn from the experience to enhance your ability to handle similar situations in the future.

By following these six steps, you can more effectively resolve conflicts, promote harmonious relationships, and strengthen every connection. So even on the third day of the Lunar New Year, you won’t have to worry about arguments!

Mind Cleansing

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Mind cleansing is a practice that helps people release inner burdens and reduce anxiety and stress. These techniques can promote mental health and improve quality of life. Here are some common mind cleansing techniques:

 

1. *Mindfulness Meditation*

Mindfulness meditation is a practice that focuses on the present moment and helps you better understand yourself by observing your thoughts and emotions. Spending a few minutes each day practicing mindfulness meditation can help reduce anxiety and boost mood.

 

2. *Emotional Diary*

Journaling can help you clear your mind and crystallize your emotions and thoughts. Regularly journaling about your feelings can help you clarify your thoughts and find solutions to your problems.

 

3. *Natural Remedies*

Spending time in nature, whether walking, hiking or just sitting in a park, can go a long way in reducing stress. The beauty of nature brings peace and relaxation, helping the mind feel refreshed.

 

4. *Deep breathing exercises*

Deep breathing can effectively relieve tension. Try counting to four on each inhale, hold your breath for four seconds, and slowly exhale for four seconds. Repeat a few times to allow yourself to relax.

 

5. *Gratitude Practice*

Listing three things you are grateful for each day can help you shift your mindset to focus on the positives in your life, thereby increasing mental clarity.

 

6. *Artistic Expression*

Whether it’s painting, music, or writing, artistic expression is a great way to release your emotions. This not only promotes creativity but also helps you clear your mind of impurities.

 

 

7. *Establish boundaries*

Learning to say “no” is an important part of clearing your mind. Setting healthy boundaries can help you reduce unnecessary stress and anxiety.

 

To conclude,

Mind cleansing is an important means of improving mental health. By practicing the above techniques, we can better manage our emotions and increase our inner peace and clarity. Choose the method that suits you and persevere, and you will reap unexpected results.

Relationships Need More Authenticity to Grow Closer

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When we are unwilling to share our true feelings and thoughts, we unknowingly build a wall between ourselves and others. This concealment not only fails to maintain relationships but also makes it harder for others to understand our authentic selves. To break down this invisible wall, we can open our hearts and show our true selves to others. Here are three steps that can help us build more genuine connections:

Step 1: Understand Your Own Feelings
Before expressing your thoughts to others, it’s essential to understand your inner needs. For instance, you might want others to listen to your feelings earnestly and provide comfort when feeling down. Only by understanding your own needs can you express them more accurately to others.

Step 2: Find the Right Moment for Conversation
Regular communication is essential to strengthen relationships no matter how busy life gets. Take the initiative to create opportunities for heart-to-heart talks, whether during dinner or cozy moments before bedtime. When sharing, stay present and honestly feel each other’s presence.

Step 3: Invite Response to Your Sharing
After sharing, actively invite the other person to express their thoughts, and listen to their perspectives and feelings with an open mind. This two-way communication helps both parties better understand each other’s inner worlds, naturally bringing you closer together.

Maintaining relationships isn’t just about daily interactions; it requires both parties to be willing to show their authentic selves. We create deeper connections when we let down our guard and open our hearts to share our inner feelings. By understanding our needs, seizing the right moments for dialogue, and encouraging sincere two-way communication, we can gradually break down barriers and elevate relationships to a more intimate level. Remember, sincerity is the key to bringing people closer together, and only by showing our authentic selves can we elevate relationships to the next level.

Thinking too much, forget the original intention

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I wonder if you have ever been “thinking too much”? When we are facing major matters, we certainly need to think over and over, but for some minor matters, did we spend too much time for thinking but still find that it is difficult to make the decision?

 

In fact, insisting on perfectionism may lead to overthinking, and usually these are nonconstructive thoughts. When we tend to spend a lot of time about thinking and making decisions for things that are not worthwhile, we may become indecisive or find it difficult to make appropriate analyses, and even tend to be irritable, depressed or anxious. Most of these thoughts are repetitive and make people tired.

 

To avoid this situation, we can clarify the principles to judge which things are important and we should spend time on. This can avoid us from getting annoyed by minor things.

 

We can have high standards, but we should also learn to accept imperfection as no one is perfect. We should set feasible goals and adjust our expectations appropriately.

 

Let us stop unnecessary and repetitive thinking, and spend our time on meaningful things.

How to overcome with the New Year depression

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It’s a new year again! Will you look forward to the future, or look back to the past and become depressed? In fact, at this special moment, it is easy to remind us the goals that we have not achieved in the past year, and tend to be depressed and even resist to the new year.

 

When we feel depressed, we can try to slow down the pace first, and don’t give too much pressure to ourselves. Even if we find that we have many goals we have not yet achieved, don’t be too disappointed. We can readjust our expectations and goals, and achieve step by step.

 

We can also try to distract ourselves by doing something that we are interested in, such as listening to some relaxing songs, painting or doing more exercises, which can help to improve our emotions.

 

Feeling depressed during the New Year may be caused by weather changes, which can easily lead to emotional instability and anxiety. Therefore, we can try to spend more time under the sun and feel the sunshine, which may help to improve our mood.

 

Depression during the New Year usually only remains for a short period. Adjusting your plan appropriately will help you to get through the depression period. Let us look forward to the new year and have a good start.

Four Ways to Have a Happy Christmas Alone

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There are always different Christmas music and decorations every Christmas, and there are also different advertisements promoting consumption, which seem to remind us that Christmas needs to be celebrated with others. In fact, the holidays do not necessarily need to be celebrated with others. Spending Christmas alone can also be full of fun and meaning. Here are four ways to stay happy at Christmas:

 

1. *Self-reward*

Plan a special reward for yourself, such as buying a favorite item or enjoying a delicious meal. This is a great time to celebrate your achievements and efforts.

 

2. *Creative activities*

Create your own creations or make food, such as making Christmas decorations or handmade cards, or making cookies or cakes. Not only does this allow you to be creative, but it also allows you to enjoy some quiet time.

 

3. *Watch a Christmas movie or listen to music*

Choose some classic Christmas movies or songs and get into the holiday spirit. Grab a few snacks, sit back comfortably, and let yourself be immersed in the magic of Christmas.

 

4. *Volunteer Service*

Spend your time helping others, such as volunteering in the community or donating items. This not only makes you feel the meaning of the festival, but also brings inner satisfaction.

 

Christmas is coming soon. The editor wish you have a Merry Christmas no matter which ways that you choose to celebrate Christmas!

Three Ways to Get Your Children to Open Up to You

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Many parents lament the decreasing communication with their children, who become reluctant to share their daily experiences, leading to growing distance in parent-child relationships. The key to building effective parent-child communication is creating a safe and trustworthy environment for dialogue. Here are three practical methods to help open your children’s hearts.

Method 1: Practice “Non-judgmental” Listening
Parents must learn to control the urge to criticize or give immediate advice when children share. Instead, listen with an open and accepting attitude. For example, when children share academic frustrations, avoid rushing to blame or lecture; focus first on understanding their feelings. Children will be more willing to share their thoughts when they feel accepted.

Method 2: Show Empathy and Patience
Parents should learn to empathize first when children face difficulties rather than rushing to solve problems. For instance, when children encounter interpersonal issues, you might say, “That must be upsetting. Would you like to talk about what happened?” By showing empathy, children feel supported and understood, naturally becoming more willing to open up.

Method 3: Create Daily Conversation Opportunities
Set aside relaxed times for daily conversations, such as during dinner or before bedtime. Avoid deliberately discussing grades or academics; chat about exciting life events or experiences with friends. Parents can also share their own experiences, making conversations natural and two-way. The key is maintaining a relaxed and pleasant atmosphere, making communication enjoyable rather than stressful.

Building good parent-child communication requires time and patience. Parents need to learn to set aside their authoritative stance and treat children with care. When these three methods become daily habits, they will build a trusting and loving parent-child relationship.

Have you heard of the “Empty Boat” effect?

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A man was crossing a river in a boat when he suddenly saw another boat heading straight towards him. He became very anxious, shouting repeatedly, but no one responded. His tension escalated, and he even started cursing. When the other boat finally collided with his, he discovered it was an empty boat, with no one inside. As the truth was revealed, his anger disappeared instantly, and he felt calm again. This story comes from Zhuangzi’s “Shan Mu,” illustrating the emotional reactions people experience when faced with imminent threats.

I wonder if you have encountered similar situations in your life? Our negative emotions often arise from misunderstandings. When we understand the actual situation better or recognize our own feelings, our emotions can shift, and we may realize that things are not as bad as we imagined.

In fact, this story about the empty boat teaches us that often our anxiety and fear are based on misunderstandings. When we learn to change our mindset, we can resolve about 90% of the challenges in life.

For example, when facing challenges at work, if we can look at them from a different perspective—seeing them as opportunities for learning and growth rather than threats—our mindset becomes more positive, and our ability to solve problems improves.

Similarly, in interpersonal relationships, many misunderstandings arise from a lack of communication. When we proactively engage with others and seek to understand their thoughts and feelings, we can resolve many unnecessary conflicts and foster better relationships.

Changing our mindset is a powerful tool; it helps us see problems more clearly and reduces unnecessary anxiety and fear. Just like the empty boat, when we understand the truth, our original fears and anger dissipate. Many difficulties in life often stem from our mindset. By learning to adjust our mindset, we can face various challenges in life more easily and find solutions to our problems.

So, the next time you encounter difficulties or anxiety, try to pause and rethink the situation. See if you can adjust your mindset. You might be surprised to find that many issues are not as scary as they seem!