In Chinese society, parents always expect their children to become the “dragons and phoenixes” among all people of the same age . This represents the traditional family concept – parents wish for the success of their child. However, what is the definition of success? Being a student nowadays is often more stressful than in the past. After attending classes for a whole day, need to immediately go to the tutoring center for extra learning; After returning home, nervous parents immediately ask about their performance in extracurricular activities; In senior form, when the child still do not have any idea about the elective subjects they would like to take, parents may clamor to ask their kid to choose a subject that could link to a stable and successful career path.
Yet, will the expectations given by parents be different from their child’s actual preference, causing the expectations to become a kind of pressure or even a burden to the child? Facing all kinds of expectations from the surroundings, even superheroes need to take a breather! So how should we face parents’ high expectations and reduce our pressure? Here are some tips!
1. Learn to communicate with parents
The expectations of parents often come from their care and concern for their child. They hope for a better future for their child, thus might set certain standards subconsciously. With different social positions and point of views, parents may not fully understand what their child is thinking. Therefore, we can take the initiative to share our feelings with our parents, express our feelings of stress and anxiety. If you are worried about not being able to express your feelings accurately, you might as well express yourself in words or pictures. Through communicating with each other calmly, let your parents better understand your current situation and feelings, adjust their expectations appropriately.
2. Know yourself and plan your direction
Over-concerning parents’ thoughts and expectations may cause us to rely on their decisions to make our choices, and ignore our own abilities or interests. As a result, choosing an inappropriate path due to the expectations of others. As a student, you can try to objectively evaluate your capabilities, find your own strengths, then think about future direction. At the same time, it would be better to make the plan as detailed as you can. Make it concrete so that you can have clearer goals and work effectively. It allows your parents to see how your decisions are under careful consideration, and understand that you also have your own thoughts, so as to better relate to you.
3. Seek advice from others
Teachers, social workers, or classmates could be a great support when you share your concern with them. Try to listen to their pertinent opinions and suggestions, make a better balance between parents’ expectations and self-expectations. Remember you are not alone, let people around to share the burden together with you.
The differences between the expectations of parents and children are not terrible. The key lies in whether everyone can communicate and coordinate appropriately. Facing the expectations of others, it is important to adjust your mentality appropriately, find a suitable way to relax and express your emotions.