CHILL LAB 超正常研究室 – 關注青少年的精神健康,讓參加者覺察及表達當下的情緒並調適自己

Establish personal boundaries and define your own principles

Have you ever hesitated to refuse someone’s request?

This may be because we are always considering others and neglecting our own true thoughts and feelings, and then we will find that we feel exhausted and distressed instead of happy when we help others.

What makes us consider others more than ourselves?

In interpersonal relationships, politeness is a basic etiquette. Therefore, we usually will not reject others directly. We hope to avoid conflict and we may tend to consider others’ feelings.

However, over time, we may become afraid to refuse others and neglect our own feelings. Some of our unsatisfied emotions may accumulate and we may become stressed.

When we never learn to say “no”, some people may make even more unreasonable requests, assuming that your efforts are taken for granted without appreciation or gratitude.

Thus, we must learn to say “no” sometimes!

Establishing personal boundaries and setting our principles are important. We should know what situations we should refuse others’ requests, such as when someone makes unreasonable requests, when tasks exceed our capabilities, or when we feel resistance. While considering others, we should also think of ourselves and set standards to protect our own.

Moreover, we can practice communication skills, such as using gentle rejections instead of refusing others directly, or trying to express our thoughts and feelings. Effective communication can help us to avoid negative impacts on relationships with others.

Mutual respect is essential. When making requests, consider more about others’ situation and feelings; when offering help, protect ourselves by establishing appropriate boundaries and principles.

Learn how to say no, and the other person will also thank you

In Asian societies, we are often taught to be polite, even when receiving gifts we do not like, we should smile and say thank you.

Slowly, refusing others or genuinely expressing our feelings often becomes a difficult task.

However, being able to refuse others in an appropriate manner will often lead them to appreciate your honesty and directness.

Here are some refusal techniques:

1. Be polite: Start with a friendly tone, such as “Thank you for your invitation.”

2. Give a simple reason: No need to be overly detailed, just briefly explain your reason, such as “I’ve been really busy lately.”

3. Offer alternatives: If appropriate, suggest other times or ways, such as “We can get together next time.”

4. Express gratitude: Let the other person know you still appreciate their suggestion, such as “I’m glad you thought of me.”

5. Be sincere: Genuinely express your feelings so the other person can understand your decision.

For example: > “Thank you for your invitation, but I’ve been a bit busy lately and can’t attend. However, we can arrange to meet up next week; I look forward to seeing you!”

A genuine relationship where both parties value each other can be built on understanding and empathy.

Sincerely expressing your thoughts and feelings is the most important skill in communication, as this often makes the other person feel respected and grateful for your candor.

How to become a master of communicator

Communication is something we engage in every day, whether at work, at home, or with friends. Effective communication can bring people closer, avoid misunderstandings, and even resolve conflicts. However, becoming a master communicator requires continuous learning and practice to improve your communication skills. The following two methods can help you master the art of communication.

1. Learn “Active Listening” to Make Others Feel Valued
Communication is not just about expressing your own ideas but also about effective listening. “Active listening” emphasizes fully engaging in the conversation by not only hearing the words but also observing the speaker’s expressions and body language. When others feel that you genuinely care about them, they are more willing to open up, which fosters better communication between both parties.

2. Empathy is the Key to Communication
Empathy is the ability to put yourself in someone else’s shoes and understand their feelings. When you can truly comprehend what others are going through, conversations become warmer and more meaningful. For example, when a friend complains about feeling stressed, instead of saying, “Don’t overthink it,” try saying, “I can see that you’ve been under a lot of pressure lately.” This kind of response shows the other person that you understand them, rather than dismissing their feelings.

Conclusion
Becoming a master communicator doesn’t require innate talent but rather a willingness to learn and practice. By actively listening and showing empathy, you can communicate with greater confidence and build deeper relationships. Communication is an art, and if you’re willing to put in the effort, you too can become a master of this art!

Stepping out of your comfort zone is never easy.

If you stay in your comfort zone for too long, it is easy to relax your guard and lose the motivation to pursue better things and breakthroughs. Young people need to face challenges and problems bravely, grow from them, and become people who work hard for their dreams. Here are five tips to help you break out of your comfort zone:

 

  1. Be prepared for the best and don’t be afraid of the worst outcome

Make a detailed plan including goals, methods, steps and SWOT analysis, and predict the worst-case outcome. This will keep you informed and prepared for any difficulties.

 

  1. Plan for the final risk

With adventure comes risk, be prepared with another plan. If the results are not as expected, you can learn from them and adjust your strategy so that things will go better next time!

 

  1. Keep communicating and trust people you can trust

As you pursue a new direction, maintain good communication with friends or family and share your circumstances and challenges. Their support can provide you with a backup and relieve stress.

 

  1. Know your boundaries

When faced with difficulty, recognize your current boundaries, but don’t view them as your limit. Hard work and collaboration can help you push boundaries and create new situations.

 

  1. Don’t worry about the unknown

When facing the unknown, stay positive. If staying where you are is not an option for you, it makes sense to step out of your comfort zone. Only by bravely facing uncertainty can we embrace new opportunities.

 

Stepping out of your comfort zone is challenging, but it is also a process of growth. Keep confident and move towards your goal step by step, you will become stronger!

5 things working moms need to know

The life of a working mom is undoubtedly challenging, with only 24 hours in a day and the constant need to operate in a near-continuous mode. She must give her all at work and then fully devote herself to her family after work. To cope with exhaustion and find balance, here are six key recommendations to help working moms more easily manage both work and family life:

1.Seeking Support Networks

Under the dual pressures of work and family, making the most of available resources is crucial. Seek help from friends or relatives to assist with childcare or handling unexpected situations. Additionally, explore community resources, such as integrated youth service centers or childcare facilities, which can effectively reduce your daily burdens and allow you to focus on what truly matters.

2.Time Management

Properly organizing your daily schedule is essential. Utilize tools like calendars or mobile apps to plan your tasks and prioritize them based on urgency. A clear plan can ensure that work and family activities are carried out in an orderly manner.

3.Finding Dedicated “Mom Time”

In the midst of a busy lifestyle, carving out time for yourself is vital for maintaining mental and physical well-being. Engage in activities you enjoy, such as reading, listening to music, or taking a walk. You can also alleviate stress through exercise, healthy eating, and adequate rest to stay energized and tackle the challenges of both work and home life more effectively.

4.Building Connections with Children

Make use of small pockets of time to connect with your children, such as lighthearted conversations after dinner or completing small tasks together to strengthen emotional bonds. Additionally, set aside a weekly family time where you engage in shared activities, fostering closeness and letting your children feel valued and loved.

5.Defining Boundaries Between Work and Family

Establish clear rules to separate work and family time, such as refraining from handling work-related matters after office hours and focusing on family life instead. Learn to say no to unnecessary overtime or tasks to protect your personal time and mental well-being. After work, let go of work-related concerns to fully engage with your family, enhancing the quality of your home life.

The health of body, mind, and spirit

What do you think about ‘health’?

Usually, we focus on physical health and hope to prevent illnesses like fever or colds, but we may often neglect our mental health.

In fact, our body, mind and spirit are also important. It includes physical health, but also involves emotional and psychological well-being.

Mental health is important to physical health, they influence each other. When we effectively manage our stress, the physical problem caused by emotional issues can be reduced.

So, how can we maintain health for body, mind, and spirit? Here are some tips:

  1. Exercise regularly
    It can not only enhance immunity, but it also helps relieve stress.
  2. Maintain a balanced diet
    Ensure that you absorb the necessary nutrients to keep your body healthy.
  3. Establish a regular routine
    Create good sleeping habits to ensure adequate rest, which helps maintain bodily functions and brings happiness to us.
  4. Cultivate interests
    Set regular time from our busy life to develop personal interests, such as dancing, swimming, painting, or singing, which can bring joy and satisfaction.
  5. Practice meditation and relaxation
    This helps calm the mind, reduce stress, and enhance inner peace.

Let’s start today by establishing a suitable rhythm and routine for ourselves, to improve our physical and mental health!

Stop saying I’m busy!

Hong Kong people are always busy with life and work, and the word “busy” is often on their lips. Some people would show off their busyness or cause some emotions to appear. Have you ever thought about the reason behind being busy? There are always different challenges in life, and what we need to learn is especially emotional control and interpersonal communication.

 

Emotional control

– Getting angry means losing: When faced with rudeness or provocation, one should learn not to get angry, because it is futile to argue with unreasonable people.

– Take a deep breath and self-reflect: When you feel angry, you should take a deep breath, change your emotions, and tell yourself that staying calm is a good opportunity for self-reflection.

 

Interpersonal relationships

– Don’t show off your busyness: Many people like to show off their busyness. This behavior often reflects a lack of time management and efficiency. In fact, being busy is not something to be proud of.

 

Self-authenticity

– Avoid false performance: On social media, many people pursue a false image, but the true self will eventually be exposed. You should stop this disguise and accept your true self.

 

Simple thinking

– Concise expression and thinking: Capable people are good at expressing themselves simply and clearly and focusing on key points, which is especially important in work and leadership.

 

In conclusion, each of us will face challenges. It’s important to stay calm in the face of challenges, be authentic, and learn to simplify your thinking to improve your own efficiency and interpersonal relationships.

Is it wrong to “enjoy the moment”?

In the fast-paced rhythm of life, we often find ourselves busy chasing future goals, neglecting the beauty of the present moment. Sometimes, excessive worry about the uncertainties of the future prevents us from enjoying the present and affects how we interact with others.

Facing life’s challenges, everyone has their own issues, and the key to happiness lies in our mindset. We can try to let go of these worries and focus our attention on our current lives, observing the moments around us that deserve careful consideration. This not only reduces anxiety but also helps us better cope with future challenges.

We can practice careful observation of the people, events, and things around us in our daily lives. For example, the first rays of sunlight streaming through the curtains in the morning bring a sense of hope for the day; in a restaurant, the aroma of food intermingles with the conversations among friends, creating a feeling of connection; even the flowers blooming by the roadside are beautiful aspects of life that should not be overlooked. When we learn to focus on these small things, life becomes more fulfilling.

The process of enjoying the present is also an opportunity for self-reflection. When we take a moment to appreciate the details of life, we discover our deep-seated desires and needs. When we learn to cherish everything in front of us, we can not only appreciate the beauty of life but also better face future challenges. Let us learn to enjoy the present and live each day to the fullest.

Solitude and loneliness are two distinctly different concepts

In this era dominated by social media, many people fear being alone, equating solitude with loneliness. However, solitude and loneliness are two distinctly different concepts. Solitude is an objective state, while loneliness is a subjective feeling.

Learning to embrace solitude helps us better understand ourselves and enhances our quality of life. Time spent alone can be peaceful and fulfilling. During these moments, you can focus on activities like reading a good book, learning new skills, or simply savoring a cup of coffee. These moments allow us to temporarily escape the outside world’s noise and organize our thoughts. In solitude, we don’t need to meet others’ expectations; we can ultimately be ourselves.

Modern research has shown that moderate solitude has positive effects on mental health. It helps improve self-awareness, enhance creativity, and even strengthen problem-solving abilities. When we learn to enjoy solitude, we also develop healthier relationships with others. This is because people who genuinely understand themselves can maintain authenticity and boundaries in their interactions with others.

However, learning to enjoy solitude requires practice and adjustment. You can start by scheduling short periods of alone time each day, gradually cultivating the ability to be comfortable with yourself. You’ll discover that solitary spaces allow your mind to rest and nurture. Solitude can be a choice rather than an escape. When we can comfortably enjoy time alone, we’re less likely to feel lonely.

True happiness comes from treating ourselves well rather than constantly relying on external companionship. Learning to enjoy solitude is like gaining a faithful friend who will never leave – yourself. In the quiet moments of solitude, we often find peace, profound personal growth, and self-discovery. This self-reliance becomes a foundation for more meaningful connections when we engage in social interactions.

Have you ever regretted something?

Youth is always a beautiful time, but it passes so quickly. When you suddenly wake up to it, you might regret not having cherished those precious experiences sooner.

Have you ever regretted something—whether in academics, love, friendship, or family? Do those regrets take root in your heart, impossible to erase, leaving you wishing for just one chance to make up for them?

Everyone wants to live without regrets, but when we compare “what we did” with “what we could have done,” realizing we didn’t make the best choices, regret often follows.

“If given the chance to choose again, would you make a better decision?” Everyone thinks something like this when regret strikes, wishing they could do everything perfectly without remorse. Yet, the more we dwell on regret, the deeper we sink into it.

Every decision we make brings either positive or negative outcomes and emotions for our future selves. This often leaves us uneasy or frustrated about the unknown future—after all, no one likes to live with regret.

So why not take advantage of the youth, time, energy, and strength you still have to minimize regrets? Set a practical plan, then start moving forward step by step, working toward your goals and creating your own youthful memories.